Some days I feel like I’m living my life from two feet outside of it. Like my life is a TV show and I’m just the viewer. I’m in the moment, technically. I’m at the dinner table. I’m in the meeting. I’m listening… sort of.
What Does “Being Present” Even Mean?
For a long time, I thought mindfulness meant sitting cross-legged in silence, thinking about nothing. Meditation. Which, if you have ADHD, feels like a setup for failure because for a lot us, our brains don’t stop.
Turns out, being present just means letting your brain and body exist in the same place, at the same time. Without spiraling. Without numbing out. Just… being here.
But if you live in the fog of inattentive ADHD, you know that staying present doesn’t come naturally. So I’ve been collecting ways to practice presence. Not master it. Just practice.
1. Come Back to Your Senses (Literally)
One trick that actually works: the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding method. It’s quick, it’s simple, and it gives your brain something to do:
- 5 things you can see
- 4 things you can feel
- 3 things you can hear
- 2 things you can smell
- 1 thing you can taste
This is probably the first trick I learned from the counselor who helped me figure out I had ADHD as an adult. “It’s like anchoring yourself back into the moment using your body as a guide.” That’s what she told me. And it’s true for me. I do this when I’m spiraling or when I’ve zoned out during a conversation and don’t want to say, “Wait, what were we talking about again?” for the third time.
An exercise I did for a sound design course in college had us go sit anywhere with a little notepad and write every sound we heard. And occasionally, when I’m bored or am by myself in a public place, I pull out my notes app and do this, but using all my senses. What do I see, hear, smell, feel? Big recommend. It’s also a good way to get your creative juices flowing!
2. Move, or Meditate (Guided Helps)
Traditional silent meditation? Still tough for me. But movement? That’s doable. And guided meditation with structure (like the kind I use with the Open app) can actually help a lot.
Mindful movement is a favorite among ADHD therapists for a reason. You get the grounding benefits without having to sit still. Try:
- A short walk without your phone in hand (but if you need music, take it with you and keep it in your pocket as much as possible)
- Stretching while noticing your breath
- Dancing (I recommend morning playlists and socks) (maybe pop on a Just Dance video on Youtube)
If movement’s not possible for you or not your thing, try a short guided meditation with gentle direction. I truly love Open for this – I stumbled upon it about six months ago and forgot to cancel the free trial (typical ADHD tax) but it actually encouraged me to stick with it. AND LET ME TELL YOU.. it’s helped. A lot. A little five minute session before a meeting? Awesome! I feel refreshed and more present. Also, just want to clarify that I’m not affiliated with Open at all. You can also find some great guided meditation resources for free on YouTube.
3. Sneaky Mindfulness
You don’t need to carve out 30 minutes to “be present.” You can sneak it into things you already do. Think of it like sensory seasoning and just sprinkle it in.
- Notice the smell of your coffee as it brews
- Feel the warm water during your shower
- Listen to the sounds while brushing your teeth
- Count how many out-of-state license plates you see (my favorites are Vermont and Hawaii)
These are tiny ways to check-in.
4. get creative!!
When I’m stuck in my head, and I’m like, really spiraling, it’s usually because I’ve spent too much time consuming and not enough time creating. I’ve scrolled past 90 people’s lives, watched three videos I didn’t even want to see, and suddenly I don’t know where my day went. And I feel worse. Not better.
So I’ve been trying to turn that energy outward. To make something. Even if it’s bad. Especially if it’s bad.
I’ve always drawn and written when I needed to feel present. Lately, I’ve added the violin back into the mix. I played for two months in sixth grade and quit after my orchestra teacher made it very clear she didn’t like me. (In her defense, I had didn’t practice consistently and had no lessons outside of the 45 minute orchestra block. In my defense, I was 11 and had undiagnosed ADHD. (And my parents couldn’t afford private lessons.))
I picked it back up two months ago. It’s hard. Really hard. And I sound awful! But oh, man.. I love it. Some days I only play five minutes. Other days, I start and suddenly it’s been an hour.
If you consider yourself a creative person (or want to be), this is your sign to make something. It doesn’t have to be a masterpiece. It doesn’t even have to make sense. But it helps. It helps so so much.
Here’s what’s been working for me:
- Stop trying to pick the perfect hobby. Stop collecting hobbies (I’m guilty of this!) Just choose one that makes you curious.
- Stick with it for a few weeks. ADHD makes it hard to suck at things, especially when we expect to be naturally gifted. But creativity is practice.
- Take a class. Watch a video. Ask a friend. Go to a museum and people-watch.
- Get a coloring book and zone out while you fill it in.
- Let your brain make stuff instead of just scrolling through other people’s work.
We need stimulation. But not the kind that leaves you feeling hollow and wired. Something real. Something you made with your own wonderful hands.
I’m not great at consistency. (That’s not a confession, that’s just reality.) But having something to come back to has helped me show up for myself in a way nothing else really has.
5. Set the Bar Ridiculously Low
If someone told me to meditate for 30 minutes a day, I’d laugh and then forget. But a couple deep breaths? I can do that.
Experts say “daily-ish” is more helpful than all-or-nothing attempts. Try this:
- One deep breath when your email loads
- Three seconds of noticing how you’re sitting
- One moment of quiet after you park your car
This is how I’ve been trying to build habits: by doing them badly, inconsistently, and with as much grace for myself as possible.
6. Be Nicer to Your Brain
Mindfulness is also about how you treat and talk to yourself.
If you space out, you don’t need to launch into “Ugh, why am I like this?” woe-is-me mode. Acknowledge it and try this instead: “Okay, I drifted. That’s normal. Let’s come back.”
Be kind to yourself. You cannot escape from yourself, so why not grow? This practice is called self-compassion.
Something that helps me is to think of myself as a child. Back when I felt the most like a misfit because I didn’t know I was neurodiverse. I developed a lot of unhealthy thinking patterns because of this that, at 28, I’m still working to unlearn, but if I think, “How would I help 12-year-old Lu? How would I speak to her?” I get teary-eyed and realize I needed patience and kindness. I still do.
You’re not going to think your way into being present. But you can forgive yourself and keep practicing. And that’s enough.
Inattentive ADHD + Mindfulness is Not an Impossible Match
Staying present with this kind of brain isn’t natural, but it’s possible. Not perfect, not Zen, not filtered through Instagram/Pinterest aesthetic. Just possible.
I still zone out. I still forget entire conversations. But I also catch small moments now like the sound of birds outside, the stretch of a deep breath, the weight of a warm mug in my hands. And I call that a win.
So if your brain is an adventurer who likes to wander like mine, just remember: you can always come back. And every time you do, you’re practicing presence. That counts!!
Also, I would love to hear what works for you!